A Party of Lovers

petite fast-talking dame. creative connoisseur of lowbrow humour. 26. UK.

hardcoretaco:

literallythis:

screamingcrawfish:

alphaqueer:

daysturnedtoweeks:

When guys have a bath, does their penis float or sink?

i was going to answer this but i’ve been sat here for a good two minutes and i can’t fucking remember

go take a bath what are you doing science is on the line motherfucker

it sinks it’s fucking full of blood what do you expect it to do perform acrobatics like fucking shamu

oH My GO D

(via dandyronpa)

jabletown:

kaiju3:

The American Hogwarts Houses

10 POINTS TO BEARGLOVE

jabletown:

kaiju3:

The American Hogwarts Houses

10 POINTS TO BEARGLOVE

(via czarnyma)

seabelle:

I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch I saw your fucking mini van I know you have six more kids where are they

(via iswearimnotnaked)

notabadday:

googlearths:

if my husband doesnt tear up when im walking down the aisle im turning the fuck around 

my husband definitely will because he’s gonna have to put up with me for the rest of his life and that’s enough to make anybody cry

(Source: orlandobloomfistmeintheass, via kerriwroblewski)

peenies:

I hate shirtless white boys who think they’re doing humanity a favor if they call a girl beautiful go get high off your axe deodorant spray

(Source: extental, via communistbakery)

barackinaroundthechristmastree:

it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point

(Source: partybarackisinthehousetonight, via fuckyeahtxtposts)

crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through an awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

(Source: star-loser, via nasterbate)

I didn’t know Ichabod Crane appeared on the cover of Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours album… 

I didn’t know Ichabod Crane appeared on the cover of Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours album… 

If there’s ever a remake of Mork & Mindy, I hope it’s produced by Vince Gilligan for AMC and stars Aaron Paul as Mork: “Nanu-nanu, bitch!”

itfeelspersonal:

Captain America wears Calvin Klein

itfeelspersonal:

Captain America wears Calvin Klein

(via pierogi-jarskie)

pemsylvania:

how is it that i am distracted by everything yet paying attention to nothing

beautyyytime:

Why one eyebrow always comin out Gucci and the other eyebrow comin out Walmart

(via fuckyeahtxtposts)

combefqueer:

cinematicnomad:

crazyassmurdererwall:

scottthepilgrim:

what if when you killed someone you gained their best trait

 

   

write a goddam book

(via starquill-peterlord)